See the above picture? See that thing in the middle, smiling awkwardly? That's me. And, as you can see, I am stuck between two snapshots of perfect love. Yes, I was the only one in my limo without a date. And these two bitches just looovvveees to put me in the middle of their perfection. For their own entertainment, no doubt. Awkward.
Here were my thoughts on Junior Prom. I say they are sufficient enough to get the turtle for today.
"Who made it a rule that, no matter how little you've talked to someone, no matter how distant of an aquaintence they are, and no matter how horrible and cheesy this distant aquaintence from freshman geometry class looks, you must hug them and talk to them like you're the best of friends reunited for the first time. And on that note, you are also obligated to hug everyone. EVERYONE. Even someone who you've never touched in your life and never planned on touching.
So, your hugging and touching this freshman geometry class three-seats-down person and after all the "ohmigod you look sooooo CUTE!" and "Where's your date?" it gets really really awkward. You know why? Because the prom fairy dust wears off and you realize shit, I don't even fucking KNOW this person. So what do you say? "Ohhh my eyelashes are falling out. I gotta haul ass to the ladies room before the electric slide comes on. LATE!" Then you see the EXACT same person later during "Miss New Booty" and suddenly your grinding on them, and their date, and anyone else unfortunate enough to fall into your path of unstoppable prom enthusiasm.
Then you see this person on Monday at school, and you have to wave, even though your ashamed of your irrational behavior, because on Saturday you and this person were best friends. Prom does these things to people."
Rest in Peace high school.
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